why do you seek the living among the dead?

throughout the easter drama, this one line has been on replay over and over again in my mind.
i crave life, i yearn to be real around those who encourage and sharpen iron, yet i continue to seek life in the midst of the baren desert and wilderness, with nothing but death and destruction for miles around.
try as i may, i'm not going to find life giving and life sustaining oxygen in sulfur and ash. so why keep digging? insanity was once defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time. time to abandon this sinking ship.