the servant's heart vs. the t-shirt.

last weekend was quite a stretch for me....in ways i never even expected.
i helped serve at a young adult conference our church hosted. as we were setting up for the conference, i was asked what i was expecting from the weekend. i really wanted a chance to truly serve from a servant's heart, without my flesh and my humanity getting in the way.
you see, i enjoy serving, and do serve a lot....however, my motives aren't always pure. or, they'll start out pure, then someone will say something in the wrong tone of voice, or someone will do something that doesn't jive with me, and from then on i serve, but with bitterness and resentment in my heart. ugly, i know, but it's my reality. and it's something i wanted desperately to change this weekend.
i almost think dad enjoys these moments at times. lol the weekend started off well enough, had a great time setting up, encouraging others around me.
then the t-shirts came in. everyone who helped with the conference had to wear a t-shirt that said staff on it. unfortunately, the size ordered for me didn't come in. they only had a size smaller for me, which for anyone else wouldn't have been a big deal, but for me, momentarily at least, it really bothered me. i can't stand wearing anything tight, and get really self-concious when i do. i started to panic a bit, then i stepped back and looked at the situation. the way i saw it i had two choices.
1) i could refuse to serve, or serve under my conditions, and fee justified in doing so. or,
2) i could bite the bullet, wear the shirt (after all i'd already planned ahead and brought a long sleeved shirt to wear with it, so what's the big deal??) and make it a great weekend.
i chose to wear the shirt. yeah, i felt a bit awkward at first, but my desire to stretch and truly serve with pure motives far outweighed the awkwardness, and eventually dissipated the awkwardness.
and man, was i ever soo stinkin blessed as a result! i am truly thankful to be a part of such an amazing community.