Help!

you are the one; there's no one else
who lifts me up
and gives me water from the well
but there's a hole
that seems to drain it all away
and once again i'm left in fear and doubt
when all my strength is crying out
so here i am again
willing to be opened up and broken
like a flower in the rain
tell me what have i to do
to die and then be raised
to reach beyond the pain
like a flower in the rain
the evil wind, it blows a storm
to rock my world
just when i think i'm safe and warm
i'm led astray far too easily
it's always hard for me to say i'm wrong
until i know i can't go on
lord, you have searched me
and know when i sleep and when i rise
you're familiar with all my ways
even the darkness will shine like the day
when you look into my heart
so here i am again
willing to be opened up and broken
like a flower in the rain
tell me what have i to do
to die and then be raised
to reach beyond the pain
like a flower in the rain

why do i go on these binges? why do i continue to struggle on my own? trying to do everything my way?! in my own strength?
i can't keep this up. it will kill me.
HELP!!!!!!
help me to trust you, abba!! help me to rely on you!
help me to realize and admit it is OK to need help! to ask others for help!