the power of words.

someone offends you verbally, you confront them, their response is something along the lines of: "i don't remember saying that so let's just drop it".....then what?
so, just because they don't remember, that somehow makes my pain, makes the sting of the comment non existant? unjustified? are my feelings negated?
not even a chance to have my opinions and feelings validated...man that sucks.

of course, there is the other side of the coin: i chose to be offended after the comment was made. i could have let it roll off my back, but i didn't. the words did hurt, even if they may have been spoken in jest. but do they have to hurt now?

what's dad got to say about it?
Overlook an offense and bond a friendship;
fasten on to a slight and--good-bye, friend! (prov. 17:9-msg)

Smart people know how to hold their tongue;
their grandeur is to forgive and forget. (prov. 19:11-msg)

ouch. well there goes my "justification", eh?
so they may never admit or recognize they hurt me. so what. the world keeps spinning. my being offended didnt' shock god off his throne.....so i guess that doesn't mean the world revolves around me and my feelings.
i've got two choices. forgive and walk in freedom and life. or hold onto this petty issue until the other person realizes what they did and truly appologizes.....of course doing that would only hinder this journey i'm on.

i think i'll choose life.

the servant's heart vs. the t-shirt.

last weekend was quite a stretch for me....in ways i never even expected.
i helped serve at a young adult conference our church hosted. as we were setting up for the conference, i was asked what i was expecting from the weekend. i really wanted a chance to truly serve from a servant's heart, without my flesh and my humanity getting in the way.
you see, i enjoy serving, and do serve a lot....however, my motives aren't always pure. or, they'll start out pure, then someone will say something in the wrong tone of voice, or someone will do something that doesn't jive with me, and from then on i serve, but with bitterness and resentment in my heart. ugly, i know, but it's my reality. and it's something i wanted desperately to change this weekend.
i almost think dad enjoys these moments at times. lol the weekend started off well enough, had a great time setting up, encouraging others around me.
then the t-shirts came in. everyone who helped with the conference had to wear a t-shirt that said staff on it. unfortunately, the size ordered for me didn't come in. they only had a size smaller for me, which for anyone else wouldn't have been a big deal, but for me, momentarily at least, it really bothered me. i can't stand wearing anything tight, and get really self-concious when i do. i started to panic a bit, then i stepped back and looked at the situation. the way i saw it i had two choices.
1) i could refuse to serve, or serve under my conditions, and fee justified in doing so. or,
2) i could bite the bullet, wear the shirt (after all i'd already planned ahead and brought a long sleeved shirt to wear with it, so what's the big deal??) and make it a great weekend.
i chose to wear the shirt. yeah, i felt a bit awkward at first, but my desire to stretch and truly serve with pure motives far outweighed the awkwardness, and eventually dissipated the awkwardness.
and man, was i ever soo stinkin blessed as a result! i am truly thankful to be a part of such an amazing community.

wake up, princess! *slap slap*

*warning: the following blog is a bit quirky, to say the least....the following is some dialogue i've been rehashing and processing since heather shared on thursday night*

the tear drop. the earth trembling. the curtain destroyed. changed the world forever.
there is no need to punish myself for my screw ups. to do so is to forsake the redemptive new life Christ bought for me. (ouch....imagine nanny throwing away the diamond ring you gave her for her birthday.....that pales in comparison to what you do to the precious gift dad gave you)
it is finished!! welcome to the new life. a free gift to me. paid in full by the Daddy who created me and loves me. quit trying to earn it already!
recieve it and live.
get over yourself and your petty situations!! just live and step into the life Dad's given you.
honor him, show your gratitude through your actions and by stepping into the new life.
once again, stop punishing yourself! are you greater than God? he's forgiven you and loves you. there is no condemnation! so what gives you the right to bash his daughter and punish her for what's already been covered by the blood?
be grateful for the new life and honor the him who's given it to you.
how can i honor him?
i can honor him by going straight to him when i fall.
i can honor him by not running away in guilt and shame.
i can honor him by receiving his love....letting him lavish his love upon me, especially when i feel i deserve it the least.
because i am in Christ, i am a new creation; the old is gone, and behold the new has come!
do you get that?? do you realize how exciting that is?!??! brand spankin new, girl! no baggage, no guilt trips, no crap.
paul forgot what was behind and strained toward what was ahead....he pressed on toward the prize, not the chore. not the bore, but the prize. don't for one cotton pickin minute think that this new life is a bore filled with all the "fun" you have to give up (don't you remember how miserable all that "fun" made you in the end?!)
it's not "oh woe is me"....it's "yippee!!"
new life is filled with joy! This is your great adventure, quirkster.
Let's ride.